Being Human for Dummies
by Angelsorcerer
Summary: They weren't supposed to have met, hell, they weren't supposed to know the other existed! Now, Arthur is lost in blue eyes, and goddammit, he isn't supposed to have feelings. Two Shots


**This is going to be a two-shot, part two is comming soon**

**Enjoy!**

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**Being Human for dummies-Part One**

**June 2023**

_My name is Arthur. Arthur Kirkland. I have been created 10 years ago as a 25 years old, British male with green eyes, and dirty blond hair. In matter of abilities, I can currently speak 25 languages but my storage capacity goes up to 300 languages, including dialects and dead ones. I can read any kind of text and have been programmed to be a talented story teller. I am very useful to write speeches, stories, and poetry as well as any other kind of written need you may have, amongst other things. Master uses me as his personal PA, and to take care of his son, Alfred. If I were him, I would be ashamed that an android, no matter how advanced and human-like, can tend to a 5 years old boy better than his own father. I wouldn't mind if it was for an actual reason but no, the man simply doesn't care. Why he had him in the first place, I don't know, and I don't want to know. It would use space in my short and long term memory. Master doesn't know what he's missing and, like that, I have a companion that makes me feel important and, most importantly, human. Because the other thing Master doesn't know is that I have been programmed with critical thinking. It's a mistake, a virus, and I know it. I have since I first became conscious; by the arrogant way he was looking at me, and got a clear confirmation later during my first day when he was talking to an old friend over the phone._

"_The perfect human robot", he said, "He looks like one, and feels like one, but is smarter, and stronger! All the best attributes of a human being without all the useless emotions and thinking that make us question the world around us all the time."_

_The only thing keeping from speaking up and telling him he's an idiotic twat was the decision to keep this ability he calls useless. I think it's quite useful. One word that could let him know he made a mistake in my programs, and I get dispatched to be reprogrammed "properly". As long as Master is alive, I have to keep up with the role of the "perfect being". But one day, I will tell him how hopeless I think he is._

_A.K_

**June 2033**

"Arthur! Dude, how are you!"

The android sighed at Alfred's loud interruption but kept working as he replied.

"I have nothing to report, my circuits are functioning just fine and I still have fifty percent of my storage capacity free."

The now fifteen years old boy rolled his eyes at the response.

"You know, this kind of answer is the only thing that betrays your robot nature! Can't you just say you're fine?"

"This word would require the use of feelings which I do not possess. Your father-"

"Forget the old man! He's a controlling freak with a twisted perception of the world."

The American threw his bag at the foot of the couch before heading for the kitchen to get his afternoon snack. Arthur shook his head at the gesture and erased the words from his memory bank to prevent yet another fight between father and son. He finished analyzing the data he was given just in time for when Alfred came out of the kitchen and plopped down on the couch next to him.

"Where is he now anyways?"

"Master Jones is at a meeting with fellow scientist."

He waited for the bitter remark that always came when Alfred learned his father was away (which was most of the time), but was slightly confused when none came.

"Something wrong lad?" he asked.

Alfred shifted a bit before engulfing the last bite of his snack.

"Nothing just a long day."

Arthur stared at him without blinking as a clear message that he knew something wasn't right and was waiting for an answer. Alfred tried to resist but ended by explaining himself knowing the android wouldn't let it go.

"I finally had a perfect grade in science like he so badly wanted me to. I wanted to announce it myself, but now that I think of it, it's better that way. He wouldn't have been satisfied anyways"

"I think you did great."

Alfred grinned.

"That's 'cause you're my true father figure, even if you have the emotional range of a rock, but I like you anyways!"

He laughed at his own joke, and grabbed something from his bag on the floor. His face had lost any trace of sadness and he was back to his extravagant behavior. Arthur considered it a success.

"I need your opinion on something." Alfred stated, almost serious.

Arthur frowned.

"Alfred…"

"Yes! I know! We have to be careful about father learning your extra program unless we want you to get dispatched but I really want your opinion for this. Please? I have been able to keep your secret for five years, no?"

True. Alfred had done a great job at keeping his mouth shut and hadn't used it against Arthur. The boy was a true angel. Sometimes.

"What is it?" he relented.

The American's grin got even wider and he handed him the picture of a boy about his age with soft blond locks and purple eyes.

"His name is Mathew, he's Canadian, absolutely adorable, great to talk with, and guess what; his father is an asshole too. He's a bit quite though."

"You show all the signs of someone with a crush."

"What? NO."

Arthur didn't insist, not really a connoisseur in human emotions, and stared at the picture silently.

"Well, what do you think?" Alfred urged on.

Arthur raised an eyebrow.

"I will have to meet him in person if you want me to tell you what I think."

"Great! He's coming over tomorrow; you'll give me your opinion then! Do warn father we have guest weather he likes it or not."

With these final words, Alfred jumped off the couch and out of the living room, probably to his room where he would do whatever teenagers did these days. Arthur watch him go slightly discouraged but at the same time understanding of Alfred's anger towards his father. He picked up his papers and headed straight for ' lab to transfer him his results- and warn him of his son's plans.

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"Aaaand this! Is Arthur! My father's secret pride and joy, but also my best friend and my true father figure!"

Alfred had given Mathew a tour of the house and had kept Arthur last for presentations because it was to be expected that Mathew would have a lot of questions. The android politely smiled, and shook the Canadian's hand.

"Nice to meet you."

Mathew's eyes were wide with surprised and he seemed genuinely impressed. Arthur smiled even wider; he had that kind of effect on the few people he had met.

"You mean he's an _android_?"

"Yup!"

"A real one? Not just a human being that got a few of his parts replaced with metal ones?"

"A real one, from the heart to the toes."

This impressed him greatly.

"Can I… look?"

Alfred invited him too with a gesture of the hand.

Mathew gently touched his arms and hands, asked him a few questions and even started a conversation as if he was human too. This impressed the android greatly; it usually took time for a human to get used to him. When he was done, the Canadian stepped back, and smiled in awe. Nothing could have prepared Alfred and Arthur for the surprise he had for them.

"This is incredible! You are just like Francis! The only differences are the physical appearance and the ethnic origin."

It was Alfred's turn to be surprised (Arthur would have been too if only he could). He blinked as he tried to regain his voice, but before he could say anything someone cleared his throat at the door. Master Jones was standing there, a severe look on his face, and with his usual intimidating posture. Arthur hadn't been warned of his presence at the manor, but that often happened when the master wanted to come home. It was a part of his secretive character to make as if he had last minute decisions when he had actually made his decision hours prior. It was hard to know clearly when and where the man was going to be.

Judging by the glint in his eyes, Arthur knew he hadn't regretted to come. Mr. Jones advanced two steps in the room, and let his ice cold stare fall on Mathew.

"Lad" He said, "Could you repeat what you just said?"

Mathew hesitated for barely a second before speaking up.

"My father, sir, has an android very similar to yours."

There was a twitch on the man's face that was meant to be a smile before he turned away and out of the room.

"Arthur, call the lad's father and organize us a meeting as soon as possible. Cancel my other meetings if necessary."

He closed the door behind him, leaving everyone, even Arthur, confused as to what had just happened.

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'As soon as possible' ended up being the very next morning. Mr. Williams was just as curious as about the matter and wanted to see for himself the resemblance. Well that was what…Francis had told him over the phone. The few seconds they had talked to arrange the meeting had been enough for Arthur to know that he and the other robot had indeed a lot in common, and now he was living one of the few moments of his existence where he thought it would be convenient to have feelings. Being so cold about the discovery of a being just as smart and advanced as him didn't sound right. But well, there was nothing he could do about that.

Alfred had tagged along with them to spend the day with Mathew as their fathers would spend the day comparing and discussing their androids. _He, _at least could be excited about the incoming day, for the Android, it was already qualified as boring. When Arthur parked the car in the William's mansion's driveway, at 10 AM exactly, three people were waiting for them outside. Mr. Williams, Mathew… and the deepest blue eyes Arthur had ever seen.

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**June 2023**

_My name is Francis, Francis Bonnefoys. I have been created eleven years ago as a 25 years old French male with blue eyes, and shoulder length, blond hair. In matter of abilities, I can currently speak 25 languages, but my storage capacity goes up to 300 languages, including dialects and dead ones. I can read any kind of text, but have been especially programmed for descriptions. I am very useful to write speeches, give complete descriptions of the place/person/object of interest, and to cook, amongst other things. Master uses me as his personal PA, and to do the housework, which include tending to his 6 years old son, Mathew. Master Williams doesn't care for the boy, and my original function didn't include him, but I executed my tasks quickly and perfectly which made him add this program to have some peace of mind. I'm glad he did because it gave me a friend that promises to become a successful young man, and helps me feel less lonely. Because what Master doesn't know is that I have feelings. Lots and lots of feelings like joy, loneliness, hope… But he must never know. Ever._

_It was a mistake that slipped in my programs, and I've know it since my first moment of consciousness. It was written on almost every piece of paper in the room:_

_Perfect human:_

_-No opinion._

_-No emotion. _

_I've worked hard on keeping my emotions hidden; I even developed what humans call an acting talent to keep them hidden. He would call it a virus, I call it protection. The arrival of Mathew helped a lot because it gave me another reason to work on keeping myself in check. One wrong gesture or one wrong word, and I get dispatched to be reprogrammed. But I want to stay the way I am because my emotions are the reason I feel alive. Almost human._

_F.B._

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**June 2033**

"This is truly incredible! Mr. Jones, I have to congratulate you. This android is a masterpiece!"

"And you as well Mr. Williams. Your robot has been created with a very intelligent technique."

In the end, Francis and Arthur were similar program-wise, but their interior circuits were very different. This didn't seem to faze the scientists, quite the contrary, as they continued running batteries of tests on what they considered as mere pieces of metal put together and given life to by their ingenious hands.

"They can accomplish their tasks at the exact same speed for most but… Francis seems to be faster to describe and plan while Arthur is faster to calculate and analyze."

Not once did they let the androids look at each other, or interact. They kept analyzing deeper and deeper to the point where Francis got slightly afraid they would find his extra program, and where Arthur started saying goodbye to his critical thinking.

"As for the domestic aspect, Francis is a better cook, and interacts more easily with humans, but Arthur does the laundry better, and registers little routines faster."

For a whole month, Mathew and Alfred didn't get to see them, even when school ended. Mathew longed the delicious pastries Francis would cook to congratulate him, and Alfred mourned the only night where Arthur would accept to play the video games he called rubbish with him.

"They complete each other perfectly!"

and Mr. Williams looked at each other and nodded. They just had the same idea.

One month after he heard of Francis, Arthur saw his whole life turn upside down.

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**July 2033**

"Blueprints? You are creating another robot? What for? Don't you think you could spend your time doing something else?"

Alfred had pestered his father so much, the man decided to explain briefly why they were going the each other's houses so much, and had told him to fetch Mathew, Francis, and Arthur in the living room where he would make his big announcement. The news didn't please the boys, at all, an Alfred had protested vividly.

"It is for the good of humanity" Replied the man. Alfred scoffed.

"Humanity? You kept Arthur a secret all these years, not even sharing a bit of his technology with the world. How do you want THAT to help humanity!"

"That is not of your business, my boy, you wouldn't understand."

Alfred looked ready to punch his biologic father in the face when Mathew, who hadn't said a word until now, spoke up.

"What will happen to Francis, and Arthur?"

The two androids hadn't moved since they had learned they were being replaced (Their masters hadn't told them).

"They will be disposable once we will have finished comparing them to the new android."

"What? You can't do that!" protested Alfred once again.

Mr. Jones sneered at his son.

"Why not? They are just robots, metal. Machines."

"They are living beings!"

Mr. Jones paled of rage.

"No they are not! Now I suggest you cease this nonsense, or their will be consequences! Enjoy Francis, and Arthur while you can, and let me and Mr. Williams work in peace!"

The American left with those last words, slamming the door behind him, and leaving Alfred, and Mathew frozen in shock and anger at the news. Unable to think much about it, the two androids turned to each other, and finally managed to have a good look at the other. Arthur extended a hand to Francis who took it and shook it.

"Arthur Kirkland"

"Francis Bonnefoys."

Their voices stirred the two boys away from their preoccupying thoughts.

"There has to be a way to prevent this! We could ask our father to have the both of you given to us, or to keep you for the house work or…" Mathew was slightly frantic as he proposed solutions he knew wouldn't work. Francis placed a hand on his shoulder while Arthur shook his head gently.

"You know they will never accept. They want us to be kept a secret, and they are creating a robot that will be more performing than us. We will be useless to them."

"How can you be so… calm about the situation?" asked Alfred.

"Because there is nothing we can do about it. They have complete control over us, and we have to listen to their every word even if they want to… destroy us.

The slight hesitation in Francis' reply didn't go unnoticed to Alfred and Arthur who looked at him questionably. The French android only lowered his eyes, and Mathew sighed.

"I guess this is something we can tell you, there is nothing to lose anyways…"

He shot a quick glance at Francis before continuing.

"Father made a mistake in Francis' programs, and downloaded the reactions human beings have in front of certain situations, as well as the consequences of these reactions. Francis registered, understood, learned, and developed them."

"In other words…"

"He has feelings, yes."

"There was nothing I could do! At first, I tried deleting them but it didn't work so I had to resolve in hiding them as best as I could, and now…"

There was sheer panic in those blue eyes now that the android didn't bother hiding it, and he found himself seated next to Mathew in discouragement. The other two quickly did the same, this news adding up to the other one, and making it even harder to accept what was to come. The room was silent for a few seconds before Arthur broke it by speaking up in what he hoped was a comforting tone.

"If it can be of any help… I too have what is considered a virus in my programs. Personally, I find it quite useful."

"Arty has his own opinion on things!"

"It's called critical thinking."

"Same thing"

Before Arthur could start explaining the difference between the two, Francis piped in:

"Having an opinion sounds rather nice."

"Having emotions looks rather useful."

Francis chuckled weakly.

"It can also be a disadvantage at times. Like now for example."

"So is having an opinion of yours. It can get confusing."

"But it's human! The perfect humans, my ass! You can't be human without feelings or opinions! It's what makes us so different from one another, so unique!"

Alfred's unexpected outburst made everyone jump (of surprise for Francis and Mathew, but for Arthur it was because his ears sensors had reacted violently at the sudden rise of volume).

"I refuse to let you guys get destroyed, especially after everything you did for me and Matt!"

Mathew nodded, and stood up with a new vigor. A plan, a bit stupid, and still not very well defined, had formed in his head.

"It is decided then." The Canadian's voice was more firm than any time before. "Arthur will teach Francis to have an opinion while Francis will teach him to have emotions. The four of us are getting out of here."

"What? But this is too dangerous!" Exclaimed Arthur.

"I agree. We'll need to do a list of everything we need to do before we get started, thought. I'm sure we could use our fathers' influence in the world to set up a few things." Nodded Alfred.

"But I don't agree! Alfred is only 15, and you, Mathew, are only 16! How do you expect to live alone out there! Nor Francis, nor I can be of any help and you are too young." Interrupted Arthur.

"But there has to be a way!"

"It could work… But we'd have to be patient." Everyone turned to Francis as he spoke up, "It took more than a year to create us, so combining our systems and programming this new robot should take around the same time. Plus, if we think about it, we could slow down the construction to two years. Mathew will then be 18, and Alfred 17. Old enough, non?

Arthur stayed silent a bit, thinking over the whole thing, and then nodded.

"That… is a very good idea."  
"You think so?"

"Yes. However, we will need to wait until Mr. Williams, and Master Jones don't need us anymore to prevent them from looking for us. It might be a bit tight, but it's better than being tracked down."

"Very well then! This will give us the time to do everything properly, and deactivate the total control our fathers have over you. And I know the perfect person to do that: me!" Chimed Alfred.

"You can do that? Really?" Asked Mathew slightly septic.

"Dude, My father is a programmer, and a villain in this whole affair, it's only logical that I'm the hero, and a hacker!"

Arthur knew this was the worst plan ever. It was disorganized, and reckless, but as he looked at Mathew, and Alfred talking excitedly about everything there was to do, he couldn't bring himself to care. When he looked at Francis, he also knew he was in for the best time of his life.

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**This first part was quite some work to write... And to say it's only 8 pages ong on word... But I think it's not so bad. Constructive critiscm is welcome!**


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